it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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