I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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