I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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