It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
