just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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