Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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