hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
