its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
