I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the day after is always just damage control
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
