Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
