I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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