I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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