You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
