we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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