YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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