btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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