i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
