i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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