it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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