It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
