He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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