im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Randomize
