I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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