call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
