Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
