Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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