girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
