my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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