Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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