Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
