I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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