i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
