Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
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There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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