yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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