Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize