3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
