Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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