sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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