i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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