Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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