you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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