you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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