She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
