I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
