I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
