Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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