called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Randomize
