You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
