you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
