grandma shit on top of the toilet
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Randomize
