I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
