it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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