Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Man, jail baloney is awful.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
