I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
