I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
