i jhust puked up my retainher.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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