Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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