woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize