I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
