Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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