dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
