How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
