I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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