apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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