Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
are you so shy because you have an std?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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