her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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