I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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